im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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