Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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