I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
