We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think I sprained my soul last night
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
