Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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