i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize