Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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