went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm really busy with my period
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