Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
