butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
