And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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