Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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