he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
there is glitter all over my balls
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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