I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
