VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
