JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
