I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
