Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
