I accidentally had phone sex last night
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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