I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
the raccoons are back...
Randomize