I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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