Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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