Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
