I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize