problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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