Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
