Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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