just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
