He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
