is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
