69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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