My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
