Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
