I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
