id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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