ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
