Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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