dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
