I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Dear god my vagina.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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