My sheets look like a crime scene.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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