JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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