I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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