we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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