Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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