I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Farmville is her only friend.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
