Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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