that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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