it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
