Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Michael Bay diarrhea
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
