Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
